I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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