1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Everyone says I win the strip club
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
