And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
