No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
