Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
