whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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