i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
