At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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