My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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