Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
