I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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