I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
