So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
