They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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