God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
