i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
