This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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