Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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