im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
