thus making me awesome and them whores
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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