Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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