I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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