Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
