ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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