it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
