he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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