The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
