Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
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as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
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He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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