All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize