I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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