dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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