I think I am morally bankrupt
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
