my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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