garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
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