Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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