So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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