Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
