dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i think i have herpe
just one?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
