i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Randomize
