so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
