Non-Jews are for practice
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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