I'm gonna have a badass scar
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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