yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
now i know why i became what i already was.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
