he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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