God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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