Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
