i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize