i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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