I wish they made helmets for livers.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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