end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
People in love make me want to vomit
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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