Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
