I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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