Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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