I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
