sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
