I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
