I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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