my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
