like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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