Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
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Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
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The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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