Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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