I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
