sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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