dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
