Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
