Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
